Beyond Grateful

I really enjoy reading the "Thankful" posts on Facebook. It's a welcome departure from some of the usual posts. To that end, I've decided to do a few blog posts about that which I am grateful.

This post will be long, so I apologize in advance.

I'll start with a biggie: the thing that has made me cherish and truly grasp what matters in my life. Three years ago this month at four months old, Caroline was diagnosed with Infantile Spasms as a result of brain injury she suffered at birth.

That year, we spent the days leading up to Thanksgiving hospitalized at LeBonheur Children's Hospital watching helplessly as our baby girl had up to 200 "jack-knife" seizures a day. We were shown the extent of her brain damage and given grim expectations for her future. Heart-wrenching shock doesn't begin to describe my state of mind upon hearing possible and probable outcomes including death, uncontrollable seizures, and severe physical and mental disabilities.

I don't remember a lot of those first days but I have some journal entries I wrote that reflect my mindset of sheer determination in a haze of exhaustion mixed with a very faint glimmer of hopefulness.

The slight hope came from an aggressive treatment plan combined with prayers, our own and those of our friends and family. I remember sitting on a bench outside Caroline's hospital room to call friends and ask for prayer. I didn't know exactly what to pray for or ask others to pray for except for her to be seizure-free and have a "normal" life even though medical literature and the doctors were telling us not to expect either of those things. For some time all I could manage to pray beyond frantic begging was to repeat Jeremiah 29:11 over and over and claim it for Caroline.

Caroline in early 2010 after about 4 months on high-dose ACTH shots for Infantile Spasms
Caused rapid weight gain, fluid retention, irritability, sleep disturbances, and more
But! It worked!!

And I am so THANKFUL that The Lord is faithful; that His Word is true and living; and that He is merciful and compassionate. I am THANKFUL for the miracle of Caroline. She is now 3 years old and despite physical delays that keep her from running, jumping, etc., she carries on like your average three-year-old. She attends a regular Montessori School (a Godsend, by the way), has a wonderful imagination, loves to sing and dance, is learning to write, pretends to read, loves playing outside, throws fits when she doesn't get her way, wants to "do it myself..."

Caroline Today (this is her posing "cheese" face)